One Night In Lake Wobagong

As I approached the area where the infamous Lake Wobagong was supposed to be (judging by the mile marker and the drunken slurs of the woman who picked me up on the side of the road) I was getting nervous. I couldn't believe there was actually a city named that in Europe. We had been on the road for some time, My driver, Mom, or so she said gave a somewhat coherent recollection of the last time she had been there. It did not seem pretty, unless you like drunken locals with guns and the smell of Indian Reservation. Mom was not the type to take any flak from me so when she fell asleep at the wheel I let her figure it out herself. The view so far was one of beauty. The trees seemed somehow to sparkle like junebugs in West Texas in the fading light that went on for days. The simple array of light through the golden fauna seemed to never end, until it did. Then everything disappeared and the desert engulfed us. I didn't know if I was crazy or the second hand breath from Mom was getting to me. We sailed through windy roads that cut the desert in half. The town shown through the darkness. There was one huge building surrounded by many small huts. The building resembled an American Mall with a very trashy Euro appeal. To my surprise there was no lake. Apparently that Pikey I had met in London was full of shit, you know the type. Mom slowed to a steady crawl handed me my belonging and pushed me out. Funny because she drove up about a mile to the parking lot and then jumped out herself. There were no hills to jumpstart the hunk of tin and moldy cheese, That was my only guess. After finally finding a "hostile" to stay the night, I began my approach to megalopolis. I breathed in the commerce and began to choke. All the shops were closed which was tradition in these parts but the bar was open and I believed that everyone was there. Drunken Monkey Face had an air to it and as I walked in everyone stopped and stared at me. "Hunter!" They all screamed. There was the pikey with 10 shots of something that resembled a toad in a blender. "Happy birthday," he said. I took the shot and asked what was going on? Everyone has left work for your birthday, just then everyone began touching me and singing happy birthday. They poured the rest of the insidious liquid down my throat and then... I woke up. I don't know how or what happened but I woke up in Maribor, Slovenia. And yes this is how I found myself.