Sea Pirates

Do you ever wonder if the Indians of North America had a high suicide rate before the sea pirates came?

Malaise

As I sit under the dimly lit roof of my house, there is a lackluster haze setting in on the streets of waco. It is sunday and the aliens did not come. The telephone poles seem to be sagging under their uselessness and age. A few cars pitter by and my dog sits on a couch that is deceptively uncomfortable and could be likened to the giant man-eating plant from Little Shop of Horrors. I was glad this weekend, not to be misinformed by television and have some real conversation with people with less than destructive mindsets. Though in one of my worst moods (too much wine and not enough nicotine), I found that even in an overpriced park and only one night away that true happiness means...

My DreaM

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” Those are words from Milton’s Paradise Lost. I do not remember the context of that statement but I feel like it is quite applicable to dreams. And a nightmare is what happened to me last night.
I got a call from my friend Cole. He was telling me that I should come to work because everyone was drunk and it really awesome. Except everything he said was garbled and I could not understand. I was laying in my bed with Delia as he was telling me all this. The moon was in full swing but it’s luminescence was being interrupted by some pesky clouds. Then without warning Delia began wriggling around on the bed and making a horrible sound. It could be likened to a coyote being caught in a steel trap and realizing after some time that it would have to gnaw off its own limb.
My bed lies at the end of my room aligned with the wall next to my rather large windows. The wind was blowing a bit through the open one at my feet. As I looked over at Delia to try to figure out what was happening I awoke, not knowing that I was dreaming (of course). She was still moaning and squirming and then I looked to my left and saw him. I gasped in horror much like Dorian seeing his painting. I froze, unable to speak or move. I gazed at the thing towering above my bed. His body was tall and dark, cascaded by the waning moonlight. He had long slicked hair and a dark piercing eye. Only the left side of his sharp and disastrous face was illuminated. He was reaching down at me with a huge outstretched hand. I assumed it was death or a demon and that I was done for. I was completely done for. I could feel my life leaving me the closer he got. Then the moonlight streaming through the closed windows brightened and the figure changed into my roommate who was holding a striped sweater over me saying that I had left it at his home. Then I woke up. I was a mess. I was still paralyzed, sweating bullets all over my body. I have never felt so useless and afraid in my whole life. I lay in bed for some time before I mustered up the courage to go turn on all the lights and lock the back door. Only with my dog and bowie knife did I have the gusto to wander around the house to make sure everything was safe.

NA

As I went into McAlisters (local deli) it had that same familiar smell and feel. You know, cheap food, underpaid employees and low structural integrity, good stuff. Anyways I stood behind a girl (from baylor) who had raced me in from the parking lot. I maintained my slow but eager pace and she took off at great speed. Faster is better is a common modality among the socialite. As we stood in line, for what was a long time, the aristocrat of the future kept checking her phone. I knew what was going to happen. Just as the lady at the counter began to tell her the total the girl answered her phone and completely ignored the server. She stabber a wad of money at the poor girl almost impaling the poor thing. All I could do is laugh. Then as she was walking away to go sit down I tripped her threw a brownie at her. I think the lesson was learned.

Delia

Delia for all of you who dont know is the name of my dog. I cant really form a complete thought at the moment, very tired. But my dog is rather quirky and does alot of weird stuff. I am not going to list them all but this is what happened this morning. I get out of bed, and immediately she starts pacing the room while I try to get dressed pretending it doesnt bother me. We go out in the front yard and pee together and then, yes, yes this is the funny part, She walks over to her food bowl (its empty), licks the pan, and then looks up at me like I am the retarded one. I want to believe that she was mocking me somehow. And I know she was but man it made me laugh up a storm this morning.

Cheers

One Night In Lake Wobagong

As I approached the area where the infamous Lake Wobagong was supposed to be (judging by the mile marker and the drunken slurs of the woman who picked me up on the side of the road) I was getting nervous. I couldn't believe there was actually a city named that in Europe. We had been on the road for some time, My driver, Mom, or so she said gave a somewhat coherent recollection of the last time she had been there. It did not seem pretty, unless you like drunken locals with guns and the smell of Indian Reservation. Mom was not the type to take any flak from me so when she fell asleep at the wheel I let her figure it out herself. The view so far was one of beauty. The trees seemed somehow to sparkle like junebugs in West Texas in the fading light that went on for days. The simple array of light through the golden fauna seemed to never end, until it did. Then everything disappeared and the desert engulfed us. I didn't know if I was crazy or the second hand breath from Mom was getting to me. We sailed through windy roads that cut the desert in half. The town shown through the darkness. There was one huge building surrounded by many small huts. The building resembled an American Mall with a very trashy Euro appeal. To my surprise there was no lake. Apparently that Pikey I had met in London was full of shit, you know the type. Mom slowed to a steady crawl handed me my belonging and pushed me out. Funny because she drove up about a mile to the parking lot and then jumped out herself. There were no hills to jumpstart the hunk of tin and moldy cheese, That was my only guess. After finally finding a "hostile" to stay the night, I began my approach to megalopolis. I breathed in the commerce and began to choke. All the shops were closed which was tradition in these parts but the bar was open and I believed that everyone was there. Drunken Monkey Face had an air to it and as I walked in everyone stopped and stared at me. "Hunter!" They all screamed. There was the pikey with 10 shots of something that resembled a toad in a blender. "Happy birthday," he said. I took the shot and asked what was going on? Everyone has left work for your birthday, just then everyone began touching me and singing happy birthday. They poured the rest of the insidious liquid down my throat and then... I woke up. I don't know how or what happened but I woke up in Maribor, Slovenia. And yes this is how I found myself.

Roger's Park

I love climbing. I love it like I love my left leg. Today I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to climb at Rogers Park. Rogers park is bouldering area in Central Texas that I believe, is a state treasure. As you drive through Belton, Tx, if you know the right way to get there (It can prove difficult if you havent been there) you will find yourself facing, after the mini-hike, a limestone wall that seems to never end. This wall travels around part of Lake Belton. If you are a climber you will notice holds and edges and slopers everywhere. And if you are not, you will surely be able to have a good time. Thankfully LB has gone down far enough for trees to grow and limestone wall to erode just enough to provide immaculate lines and perfect spots to lay and listen to the water rustle against the shore.
As my friend John and I got started we were almost immediately greeted by three other climbers from Austin who working on something serious. I dont remember the name, I never do, but man it was great to watch. You start on some small hands and feet, and dyno (jump) backwards to a huge hold and then get your ass up. Good times. I feel like everytime I am there I meet someone new, climb something new and come across someone I have met before. That is all. But man, the action, the scene, nature baby, nature.

Love it